


Blood Ties

by ravensandviolins



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Fate & Destiny, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force created destiny, Gentle Kylo Ren, Gentle Sex, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Loyalty to Kylo, Reader angst, Reader takes on Kylo's personality traits, Slow Burn, Star Wars Setting, Star Wars Universe, Will Kylo fall in love with reader?, alternate version of events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-03 02:43:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11522865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravensandviolins/pseuds/ravensandviolins
Summary: When you are injured in an explosion on the Finalizer, you are given a blood transfusion. When you discover that you share the same rare blood type as Kylo Ren, and that he is, in fact, your donor - the mystery of the uncharacteristic traits that you had been experiencing since that transfusion, all make perfect sense. Will Kylo spare you, now that you have inadvertently acquired his force abilities?* Takes place before the events of The Force Awakens*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reader is taking on Kylo's personalty traits, and when he discovers what has happened, he has to make the decision whether to let you live or destroy the force within you.
> 
> I've always been intrigued about hearing stories of recipients of donor transplants who have said that they take on the traits of the personalities of their donors, so I thought I would apply this to a blood transfusion. Just something different for a fic :o]

“Where am I?” You ask as you stir awake from a drug-induced state. Reality hits, and so does the pain.

“Remain still. You’ve been in an accident.” You hear a female voice tell you. The harsh, bright lighting from above (wherever it is that you are stationed,) is blinding to your eyes.

“There was an attack on the Finalizer, from the resistance; an explosion that threw you several yards. You suffered massive blood loss, along with a deep laceration to your stomach and several, severe contusions.” In short - your body was battered by the blast.

You remained in recovery for two solid weeks, until you were allowed to return back to Starkiller base. Your job within the First Order was to gather and relay intelligence. You lived an obscured existence within the First Order. But now, everything is about to change.

You started feeling different, after being released from the medical ward.

Prior to the blast, you were a calm and even tempered person. Now, you felt surges of blinding rage and hatred and anxiety.

Next, came the dreams. You saw torturous images; in these dreams, you heard voices constantly telling how the dark side will liberate you.

Then, came the day during which you were seething in rage for unknown reasons; somehow, you levitate a chair by flinging it across the room and smashing it into the wall, just by using your mind and nothing more.

You were confused and scared. Finally, you sought out the only other personwho could possibly offer you an answer; med tech and your friend - Jensen.

“This all happened after the accident, I am sure of it. I don’t understand what is going on with me.”

“It could be trauma to your brain that wasn’t detected during your recovery. I’ll check your chart and see what information I can defer from it.” Jensen added.

You returned to light duty, and carried on with your work day.

Apart from the disturbing dreams with the voices telling you all the about the merits of aligning with the darkside, you start to ponder about the coincidences.

Lately, you started to have an increasing fascination with Kylo Ren.

You had only ever seen the Knight of Ren, from afar, never up close and certainly not in person. Not many wanted to get close to the petulant knight, out of fear that he would unleash his fury with his light saber upon them.

Jensen tracked you down, and the two of you retreated to your quarters.

“This is very interesting information. You have a rare blood type. In fact, there is only one other individual that shares this anomaly on this entire base.”

“Oh? Who is it?” You ask.

“Normally the donors are kept anonymous, but because of your rare type and the fact that the other donor is rare and high profiled, I know the source of your blood donor. It’s Kylo Ren.”

Your eyes could have shot out of their sockets at Jensen’s revelation.

“Impossible.” You state.

“I’m afraid not. All of the med teams know about his rare blood type, because he is a force user and if he is ever injured in battle, they would know stat. Everyone is required to bank blood at least once a year, so this is how you ended up as the recipient of Ren’s blood.”

“I’m not force sensitive. How can I have the same rare blood type as Kylo Ren?

“Maybe you’re related along the lines?”

“Me? Hardly.”

“I have to get back to work.” Jensen informs.

“Thank you, for getting me this information.”

****  
Back in the privacy of your quarters, you think long and hard about all of the changes that you have noticed, and how the dots now connect.

How could it be possible? Kylo’s blood is some how effecting you, in fact, you are mirroring a lot of Kylo’s tendencies.

And what about that incident with the chair? Do you now have force abilities? Is it even possible to transfer the force via blood transfusion?

These changes to your mind, body and soul, are taking their toll. You spent most of your nights awake, and still you carry on throughout the day. Sleep seems a rare commodity. And then, there’s the fact that you have taken a liking to training, daily, and for what reason, you do not know. You had never picked up a weapon in your life and never had the interest, but yet, here you are going to the training room that is shared by First Order employees, and engaging with others while you act out mock fights with training sticks. The funny thing is, your form is exceptionally well for someone who has never wielded a weapon prior to the accident.

Jensen notices the drastic changes in your personalty, and now, your physical appearance.

“You are running yourself into exhaustion.” He chides you.

“I must find out why this is happening. Is there some way that you can get a message across to Ren?”

Jensen looks at you, partly startled by your request.

“I would not be allowed anywhere near him, but as medical, you can gain access. He needs to know what is happening. I am sure something happened with the transfusion.”

“And what if he decides to kill you?” Jensen questions.

“It is a risk that I have to take. Either way, I am going to die by his blood, whether it be at his hand or death from madness and exhaustion.”

“You have a point.” Jensen agreed.

“I will see what I can do.” He added.

Later that night, you woke to a sharp pain emanating in your shoulder. You pace around your room as your shoulder throbbed in agony. The next day, the source of your discomfort is revealed.

“Kylo was wounded in battle. He’ll live, but he took a blaster bolt to his shoulder. They’re saying that Ren was distracted by something, and that's how they got the shot.”

Your heart begin to race. It is clear to you, that Kylo’s experiences are not unto himself; you feel what he feels. This is potentially devastating news.

****  
Three days have passed and out of the blue, you are summoned to Kylo Ren’s quarters. A stormtrooper comes to collect you, and escorts you to the Knight of Ren.

It looks like Jensen has succeed in your request.

Your heart beats profusely as the blast door slides open, and the stormtrooper tells you to enter into the dimly lit room. At first, you do not see Kylo as he is shadowed in the darkness.

You hear the heavy footsteps of his boots as he comes into view, and panic sets in.

Kylo stands before you, towering in a great height. You now wondered what the hell where you thinking, requesting an audience with this menacing figure in black.

Even more so intimidating, is the fact that his helmet remains on and you have no way to judge nor read him, for any clue or indication as to his reaction towards you.

Suddenly, you are seized by a blinding headache and you double over, trying to stave off this sudden attack.

“Don’t fight.” Kylo’s first words are spoken at you.

You glance upward at him; face wincing in pain, and you allow yourself to let go and surrender. You realize that he is reading your mind.

It is sweet relief when he releases you from his mind probe.

You’re tired and weakened by this act, and you collapse down onto your knees on the hard, cold floor.

“What is happening to me?” You ask in a vulnerable voice.

“I feel what you feel. I’m in a constant state of flux; between anguish, hatred, rage and darkness. When you were injured, I felt it.” You tell him as tears start to descend.

You hear a loud hiss and a release, and you watch as Kylo removes his helmet. You are going to see Kylo Ren’s face for the first time.

You look up at him and see beautiful despair, and you instantly understand everything that you have felt up to this moment.

“This shouldn’t have happened.” Kylo says, enigmatically.

You are uncertain whether he means the transformation via the transfusion or if he is citing his disdain that you are in his presence and were allowed to live this long.

“Can it be stopped? Reversed?” You look at him with hopeful eyes.

“I don’t know. This has never happened before.” He tells you.

“I don’t want this.” You say to him.

For a split second, you swore you saw and felt a glimmer of hurt in Kylo’s eyes as if you had rejected him with your words, as if you were telling him that you didn’t want him or anything to do with him. It was so subtle, but you felt it within your core being, and maybe it was felt through the force.

Like it or not, the two of you are now bound together by his blood, this blood tie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They don’t know what it is like to be you, what you have to endure. I can only imagine the other things that I have yet to experience. I’m struggling to cling to reality and not slip into this dark abyss that is always at the forefront of my mind."

As the days progressed, so did your abilities. This latest one, became more of a burden than anything. Suddenly, you could hear the thoughts of the people around you and read their minds with little effort.

The constant chatter and prattle bombarded you, that you just wanted to isolate yourself in your room, covered up in layers of blankets to block out all the incessant noise that besieged your mind.

It was then, that you had sympathy for Kylo Ren. That he has to endure this on a daily basis. It was no wonder that Kylo is rough around the edges.

You tried to block the thoughts of others as you passed them in the halls, and as they mingled in the training room. It angered you how you heard the sleazy thoughts of the men, when they looked at you. You would have found it flattering if their thoughts weren't so salacious; hearing everything that they would like to do to your body, if they could get away with it.

You found yourself walking around with your fists balled up, just like a certain commander.

Then, one day while practicing in the training room, you overheard a conversation about Kylo Ren, and it sent you into a fit of rage.

“Helmet head botched another mission. The resistance is going to get the upper hand if he keeps up at this rate.” Said one employee.

“Maybe he isn’t as great as Supreme Leader touts him to be.” Said another.

“I wish for his demise, myself.” Stated the third.

“Enough!” You screamed at the trio. You marched over to where they stood, throwing your training stick down onto the floor.

The three men looked at you with contempt.

“What makes you any better than Kylo Ren? You do not know him, you do not know what he has to deal with on a daily basis! You don’t know what it is like behind closed doors.”

“Oh, and you know him personally?” One of the men sneers at you.

“I know him better than most; more than you will ever know.”

The large male started to come toward you, in a threatening stance.

All of a sudden, the man was choking, gasping for air. You hadn’t realized it, but you were suffocating the man with your very thoughts. Your eyes ablaze as you watched his face wince in pain.

“Stop it! You’re killing him!” Yelled one of the other men from the group.

When you regained your focus, and realized what you were doing, you released the man from your force choke. He crumpled to the floor, gasping for air.

Your chest starts heaving. You don’t know how you had done it, but you had, and it frightened you immensely. You turn to run out of the training room. You were so distraught that you didn’t even see the shadowed figure of Kylo Ren, standing beside the training room’s door, as you hastily exited. Kylo had witnessed everything.

****  
You returned to your quarters, trembling and mentally shaken by what you had done. You almost killed another! This was becoming too much to bear. You wanted to go to Kylo, but you were afraid. You were fortunate that he allowed you to live, and you did not want to press your luck. But, you needed guidance. 

You had no idea how to control this torrent of emotions and thoughts that barraged your every waking hour, and when you were fortunate to sleep, you found no relief because of the nightmarish dreams that ensued. You never found peace, in anything. You walked a constant living hell.

Jensen acquired sleeping pills for you to take, but to no avail did they bring you relief. Your body seemed to reject them.

For three nights in a row, you dreamed about Kylo being taken hostage, and tortured. His captors were somehow able to suppress his force abilities, rendering him vulnerable to their capture. By the third night, the dream was so vivid and you were in such a state of agitation that you knew it to be a premonition and not just a nightmare.

You made your way to Kylo’s quarters, that night. Surprisingly, there were no guards on duty. You banged against the steel blast door.

“I know you’re awake and I know that you sense me. Let me in.” You demanded as your fist continued to pound against the metal door.

You figured that at this point, Kylo had allowed you to live, so, you’re life wasn’t in immediate danger. And at the rate that you are going, death seems like sweet surrender from your current existence.

The door slides open and you encroached.

You find Kylo looking down at you, sans helmet. His profound brown eyes mirror your own, thanks to this blood tie.

“You’re either going to have to kill me or teach me how to control this ‘force.’ ” You bluntly demanded of Kylo.

“What are you going to do about the dream?” You asked in such a manner as if assuming you shared the same dreams as everything else that you possess of Kylo’s.

“What dream?” Kylo asks.

“It’s not a dream, is it? ” You say aloud, mainly to yourself.

“You’re going on a mission, soon, are you not?”

“Yes.” His eyes skeptically narrow at you.

“Don’t go. There is an ambush that awaits you. They plan to take you hostage. They have some kind of tool that can render your vulnerable, it will subdue your force abilities. This is how they will capture you.” You inform Kylo.

You couldn’t possibly know that such a thing existed. Kylo knew you were telling the truth. He also knew that you now have the power of insight. 

As you remained in Kylo’s room, you realized that when you are close to him, the storm that rages within is greatly quelled. Maybe because he is the source of your suffering, you thought.

You momentarily forgot that Kylo can read your mind. You never tried to read his, for you know that he will block you, if you attempted. You on the other hand, are vulnerable to him and a virtual open book.

“Why do you care if I live or die? Because you feel what I feel?”

“No. I… I don’t want you to get hurt.” The situation just turned awkward.

“I understand, a little better. What you go through. I hear it constantly, the entire base lives in fear of you, and some even hate you. It is a heavy burden. I, myself, feel like I am going mad. I don’t blame you for how you lash out.. I… I almost killed someone, today.” You confessed with lamentation in your tone.

“I saw what had transpired in the training room. Why did you defend me?” Kylo asks, and his confession stuns you.

“They don’t know what it is like to be you, what you have to endure. I can only imagine the other things that I have yet to experience. I’m struggling to cling to reality and not slip into this dark abyss that is always at the forefront of my mind. It is unfair for you to be judged so harshly when they haven’t a clue as to what makes you act the way that you do. You’re very powerful and power comes with a cross to bear, and I am a witness to your burden.”

You see Kylo’s eyes soften at your declaration, and he feels your sincere empathy through the force bond that you now inadvertently share; for better or worse.

“You will stay here, tonight, and rest. Tomorrow, you will go before the Supreme Leader; he will know what to do.” Kylo instructs you.

That night, you fell into a blissful, deep sleep. One free of the tormenting, nightmarish dreams. The best that you have had, since your accident. You slept in Kylo’s bed as he remained awake, seated in a chair nearby, while contemplating your existence as you sleep in rare peace.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, what are your plans for me?” You add, in frustration at how you were treated.
> 
> “I’m going to train you.” Kylo simply tells you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short, filler chapter for today. I'm on the verge of having a borderline migraine starting, and if this chapter is lackluster, blame it on the headache lol.

“When you enter the chamber, you will kneel down. You will not speak unless spoken to, and guard your thoughts.” Kylo instructs you.

Kylo leads you into the chamber and it is vast and partially dark. You come to a large dais where Kylo stops, and gestures for you to kneel.

The hologram comes into view, and you are startled by what you see as you stand up.

“Supreme Leader, this is the girl that I have told you about.” Kylo looks up at the larger than life grotesque figure of Supreme Leader Snoke.

“I have a name, you know.” You subtly murmur. Kylo mentally projects, and tells you to remain silent.

This is unlike anything that you had ever seen. You recall what Kylo had told you, to guard your thoughts. You found Snoke to be grotesque and you had to suppress these thoughts, lest you insult him to his ugly face.

“What should be done about her?” Kylo asks, talking as if you were not present, which you found considerably rude.

You didn’t like the way that Snoke was looking you over as if deciding if you were worthy of something; perhaps, Kylo’s blood?

“Nothing like this has ever happened before, and should be impossible by all standards of logic. This is clearly the will of the force; it is destiny. She is yours to command.” Snoke states.

You cocked your eyebrow at this statement.

“She shows great promise and potential.” Snoke adds, with a sinister looking grin.

Before Snoke departs, he issues a final statement on the matter… one that sounds like a thinly veiled threat.

“Do not let her distract you, Kylo. Use her to become stronger, not weaker.”

Kylo kneels once more, and you follow suit. In an instant, Snoke’s overbearing presence is gone from the chamber.

When you exited Snoke’s chamber, you caught Kylo by his arm and pulled him aside.

“Whoa! Beep-beep back up the AT-AT. ‘Yours to command?’ ”

“So, what are your plans for me?” You add, in frustration at how you were treated.

“I’m going to train you.” Kylo simply tells you.

****  
After your meeting with the Supreme Leader, you sought company with Jensen, to unburden your mind.

“I’m essentially Kylo’s emotional excess baggage holder.” You lament to Jensen.

“If he says it is destiny, does that mean that you are fated to be his mate?” Jensen curiously asks.

“What? God no! I mean… that is too awkward. Besides… Kylo doesn’t feel those types of emotions. Its really strange, and a little saddening. I can feel what he feels, and none of it ever involves the notion of love or anything near it. I don’t know how he can be devoid of such a basic need.”

“Have you seen Kylo, without the mask?” Jensen asks, another question of curiosity.

“Yes, of course.”

“And? What does he look like? Do you find him attractive?”

You give Jensen a funny face as you contemplate why he would ask you this question.

“He’s good looking. I think that is partially why he wears the mask, to look more intimidating. It’s hard to be taken as a serious threat, when you look like you should be the Greek god, Eros.” You bluntly state.

Jensen suddenly grabs at his left temple; fingers rubbing in a circle.

“What’s the matter?” You ask.

“A sudden headache has come over me.”

You look at him, skeptical.

“I better get back to work.” He tells you.

****

“It was you who gave Jensen the headache; you were mind probing, weren’t you? You confront Kylo, when you enter his room.

“The male medic, yes.” Kylo doesn’t deny.

“Why were you probing his mind?”

“He has feelings for you.” Kylo states as you give him a stunned expression.

You had never given it much consideration before, but when you are around Jensen, he is the only one who’s mind that you cannot easily read.

“He blocks you from seeing his thoughts, he doesn’t want you to know how he feels.” Kylo adds.

“Are they inappropriate thoughts?”

“You shouldn’t concern yourself with him.” Kylo tells you.

“Why does this matter to you?”

“It doesn’t.” Kylo says.

“If it didn’t, you wouldn’t have read his mind nor bother to tell me… wait... are you, jealous? Of Jensen?” Your eyes widen at your revelation as you feel a new kind of emotion emanating from Kylo.

“Kylo, Jensen is allowed to have feelings and to feel what he feels, you cannot control another person’s emotions. They’re not all bad, in fact, you should try experiencing them sometime.”

“He is not worthy of you, and you do not have time for such sentiments. You are now my apprentice.” Kylo states in a gruff manner.

Kylo turns away from you, and leaves the room.

“I will not be enslaved, Kylo Ren!” You yell at his retreating figure.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Listen, I don’t like being ordered. I will work with you willingly, but don’t boss me around. I don’t care if I am tied to you.”

Feeling rebellious, you have forgone sleeping in Kylo’s room out of spite, after how you were treated when brought before Supreme Leader Snoke.

The nightmares had returned, and on this particular night, you seemed to be locked within the dream and not able to wake up on your own.

When you finally did awake, you found yourself being pinned by Kylo, his hands in yours, holding your arms above your head as he stared down into your eyes. For a very brief moment, you thought that you were looking at some kind of beautiful dark angel, until you realized that it was Kylo.

Your chest was heaving, and it took you several seconds to realize that you were indeed, awake.

You push against Kylo, and he relents his hold.

“You were having a nightmare… you were screaming and thrashing.” He tells you.

“Out loud?” You looked worried, if anyone else had heard your cries.

“No. Projecting. I sensed your distress in the force.” Kylo tells you.

You grab at your head, still shaken by the dream.

“Go back to sleep, I’ll remain here.” Kylo assures you.

****  
That following day, you seek an audience with Jensen. It had been on your mind what Kylo had told you, that Jensen has feelings for you. 

While Kylo is in the vicinity, you make sure to suppress such thoughts. You realized that it would be difficult to start and maintain a relationship with Jensen, given that you are now indentured to Kylo.

“I don’t like what is happening to you. I mean, what if something were to happen to Ren, would you die, too?” Jensen laments his concern.

“I’m not sure what would happen.”

“You don’t deserve this.” Jensen frowns.

“I certainly didn’t ask for it. It is what it is.”

“And you would just give up, like that?” Jensen’s tone changes.

“What choice do I have, Jensen? Apparently, this isn’t going to go away and now, I’m fated to be Kylo’s apprentice.”

“And for what? Will he send you into battle for mindless causes?”

“Hey, what’s gotten into you?” You ask, dejectedly.

Suddenly, in your mind, you hear Kylo. “Training room, now.”

You shake your head as if refusing.

“I have to go now, Jensen…” You say as Jensen looks down at the floor as if contemplating something.

****  
“Listen, I don’t like being ordered. I will work with you willingly, but don’t boss me around. I don’t care if I am tied to you.” You tell Kylo, when you meet him in the training room as requested.

Kylo looks at you with a blank stare.

“You need to learn to calm and to center yourself.” Kylo says to you.

“Says the man who goes on tirades with a lightsaber.” You retort.

Kylo narrows his eyes at you.

“Sorry.” You quickly add.

“How can I tune out all the incessant noise?” You ask him.

“It will take time, you will have to build a mental wall; a block.”

“Sit down.” Kylo instructs you.

You feel Kylo sit behind you, your backs are now touching. You are seated as if you are about to meditate.

“Focus on your breathing.” 

You close your eyes, and try to follow Kylo's example. You feel him breathing, his back pressing into yours. There is an instant calmness just being near him, and when you touch, it feels like harmony; a pleasant hum within your shared force bond. All these new sensations intrigue you. It’s fascinating the connection that you now share, no matter if it is unwarranted.

Your thoughts are trailing off.

“Focus.” Kylo reminds you.

For a couple of minutes, you simply sit in silence while following his breathing pattern. You hear a faint thumping noise starting to emerge and so, you tried to tune into this rhythmic beating that you are now hearing; two beats occurring simultaneously.

It is Kylo’s heartbeat that you hear, and it is beating in perfect rhythm alongside of your own. But how could this be? Surely there was no way that he would be able to make his heartbeat align in time with yours?

This discovery harkens you back to a story that you had once read; something Kylo would most likely disapprove of, due to the sentiment. A story about a boy who is a gifted musician with exceptional hearing and believes that there is only one true mate for everyone, and this mate will share the exact same heartbeat, and this is how you will know that you have found your one and only by the rhythm of their heartbeat.

You wanted to explore this romantic notion, but you are dealing with Kylo Ren; love and sentiment and the like, are not a part of his world. Your thoughts drifted off to Jensen; if you could only hear his heartbeat.

“Enough.” Kylo almost growls. Your eyes shot open, breaking you from your thought reverie.

Trying to change the subject and wanting some insight, you ask Kylo a question.

“Does it bother you to hear the thoughts of others, and what they think about you?”

“No.”

“Impossible.” You call his bluff.

“How could it not? Some of them are very cruel.” You add.

“What is it that you told me about the medic, he’s allowed to feel what he feels. They are allowed to think what they think.”

“Touche’.” You murmur.

“Focus your breathing, and visualize a wall when you encounter others. It will take practice, but in time, you will be able to block the unwanted thoughts of others.” Kylo imparts as he rises up from the floor.

“Kylo… what are your intentions with me? Am I to be trained to go into battle?”

“No. You exist to make me stronger. You are a balance in the force.”

You couldn’t hide the dejected feeling that overcame you, by hearing his rather callous statement. You are just a tool to be used and nothing more, at least, that is how Kylo would have you to believe it. And how exactly are you to make Kylo Ren stronger?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You now understood what your purpose was… why the force had chosen you, had gifted you this experience...

The times when Kylo was away on missions, were the worse on you. You couldn’t sleep, the nightmares returned as well as the voices. You didn’t understand the source, the reason for this. It couldn’t be just Kylo, it seemed like it was some outside force, some presence inflicting this mental torture upon you.

It always worried you when Kylo left the base. Being apart from you, you hate to admit it, but the only way to describe it is akin to having a limb severed. He was there now he is gone and you desperately want him back.

And then, the visitations began. You were being summoned to Supreme Leader Snoke’s chamber, while Kylo was away.

You were fraught with nerves on end. Every summons made you suspicious. In a way, it seem like he was grooming you for something. 

You knew that Kylo was his most prized possession with the force, but now, it seemed Snoke saw something in you that made him take notice. It was difficult, but you liked to think that you managed well in holding your own against him. Snoke wasn’t fooling you, you could feel his mind probes no matter how gentle and slight he tried to come across as.

Snoke had never mentioned anything to you about not telling Kylo about these visitations, and you didn’t want to anger Kylo, so you kept them to yourself.

On particular conversation stuck with you.

“Kylo has proved to be weakened. He has lost sight of what it means to be a part of the dark side. I have been patient; I cannot purge the one sentiment from his being.”

“What sentiment is that?” You ask.

“Love.”

“Love?” Your tone, perplexed.

“Yes, love. Kylo longs to experience true love. As long as this is in the way, he is of no use to me. But you… you are indifferent with your emotions.” Snoke informs with a coy grin.

You subtly shake your head in confusion.

“I’ve watched you. You are far stronger; they don’t readily govern you. You have great potential with the force.”

You swallow hard at this statement, not sure just what the decrepit old creature is implying.

****  
Meeting Jensen for lunch, you felt like you had to unburden yourself.

In the past two days, you were feeling rather beside yourself; more than ever before. You also hadn’t seen Kylo in the past two days, either, which was odd. He was supposedly back on base.

“Jensen, if I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?”

“Yes, of course.”

“I’m suspicious of Snoke. Something isn’t right. He’ been summoning me, engaging me in these cryptic ‘chats’. He doesn’t talk about Kylo, in fact, it is like Kylo no longer exists to him.”

“So, what’s the real issue?”

“None of this makes sense! For starters, Kylo is his most prized apprentice, he takes an interest in him because of his powers with the force and his bloodline. Now, here I am, potentially becoming stronger and excelling literally over night. He just ‘gives’ me to Kylo? No. It cannot be that simple, that clear-cut. Have you noticed Kylo is being sent away on missions, more often?”

“I hadn't really paid much attention. Honestly, when Kylo is not on base, we all breathe a sigh of relief.”

You narrow your eyes at Jensen.

“Sorry.”

“That old creature has been talking about restoring his health, his body. He hasn’t said how, but I think he is hinting at something. I think he wanted Kylo’s body, at first, but now that I have come along, he’s had a change of heart. Kylo is not that important to him, any longer.”

“That’s insane. I mean, not your theory about wanting you, but the idea of it all.” 

“The way he talks to me, its like he is trying to turn me against Kylo. He is praising me for being exceptional and advancing so quickly. Telling me how the force has chosen me.”

“What will you do?” Jensen asks.

“I don’t know. The only person that could help me, is Kylo. I can’t have Kylo getting upset, feeling slighted, and if he sees me as some kind of rival, he may very well kill me.”

Jensen sighs in exasperation.

“Just don’t mention this to anyone, okay?”

****  
You were taking a nap in Kylo's quarters, tossing and turning as you endured yet another nightmare. You wished that you hadn’t been so stubborn and came around and at least seen Kylo, instead of trying to give him the cold shoulder treatment.

As you stirred in your sleep, you heard your name being called. When you awoke, you still heard your name, but it was becoming fainter.

Your eyes shot open. “Kylo.” You said his name as if in revelation.

You were trying to discern the feeling that you awoke with. You thought that maybe it was from the nightmare, but this was different; this staid with you, it felt like it was something emanating, bouncing off the force.

You felt strangely weakened. Something is wrong, something is very wrong and it's with Kylo.

You sprint down to the med bay to find Jensen.

“I need to find Kylo. Something is wrong! I felt it, I felt him. He’s in danger!”

Jensen grabs hold of your arms, trying to calm you.

“Where is he?!” You yank your arms out of Jensen’s grasp.

“I heard earlier today that Kylo went off base two days ago, on a private mission.”

“Private mission?”

“Yes, supposedly another Knight of Ren accompanied him.”

“Where to?”

“That, I do not know.”

“He could be injured Jensen. Something isn’t right. I heard him.”

You discreetly track down one of the many intelligence officers and inquired about Kylo’s whereabouts. When the officer refuses you, you do what comes second nature to you. You begin your mind probe. The officer attempts to resist.

“You will tell me where Kylo Ren is.” You state with a vehemence. The officer doubles over, grabbing his head from the barrage of pain that you are inflicting. The more he struggles, the harder you probe.

“Mustafar.” You say aloud. “Of course.”

Just for him being difficult, you force choke the officer and slam him into the wall for withholding details of Kylo’s whereabouts.

You race back to the med bay to find Jensen.

“We need to hurry, I know where Kylo is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Fine. If you won’t come, I’ll go alone!”

“And how do you plan to get to where ever it is, that Kylo is at?”

“We’re going to steal a ship.”

“Do you even know how to fly?”

“We’re about to find out.” You proudly grin.

****  
It was risky, but after some mind bending tactics, you secure a shuttle. You sat at the control panel, staring at all of the system’s buttons and screens.

Jensen was looking troubled.

“Here goes nothing.” You close your eyes and focus and start to power up the shuttle with surprising ease.

“Kylo knows how to fly, therefor, it should come naturally to me. I can pretty much tap into all of his abilities.” You state with glee.

“Where are we headed?” Jensen asks.

“Mustafar.”

“What?!”

****

It took some time, more time than expected; time that was crucial, given how you did not know Kylo’s status.

When the shuttle landed on the searing surface, you searched through the force, for Kylo.

“This is bad. I don’t feel him.”

“Because, maybe he is not here?”

“Jensen!” You scold with his name.

“This isn’t right. Kylo wouldn’t have been attacked here... unless…”

The ominous black castle, set in view. Through Kylo’s blood, you knew this to be Vader’s castle.

“Come on, he’s inside there.” You gesture.

“How are we going to get in? Just ring the door bell and say surprise?” Jensen quips

“Shhh. No one is here, the castle has been abandoned.”

“If that were true, then why are we searching for Kylo? Someone or something had to have been present if he is in trouble.”

“This is an inside job.” You relate.

“How do you know?”

“I just do, I feel it. It was the knight, he betrayed Kylo. Snoke, he was distracting me this entire time. He set this whole thing up, I’m sure of it.”

“The knight? And what are we going to do, if we get caught?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, we have to find Kylo. It’s been three days now, since he has been gone and since I heard his distress call. I don’t know how long he has been in this distress.”

When you enter the castle, it is just as dark and foreboding as the facade.

Your breathing becomes shallow. You close your eyes and focus, so intently.

“Kylo.” You whisper his name as if expecting him to answer to your call.

With your eyes closed, you begin to walk as if in trance. Jensen watches as he cautiously surveys the surroundings. He watches you as if mesmerized by your trance actions.

You come upon a large door. You place your hand against the door and you quickly recoil as if the door had burned your hand.

“He is in there!” Help me get this open!” You exclaim as you push against the door with all of your might.

“Give me your blaster.” You say to Jensen. “Hurry!”

Jensen fumbles with the blaster and tosses it to you. “Here!”

The door is sprung free with the blaster shot and you make your way inside. You almost tumbled down the flight of stairs as you were not expecting stairs but a solid floor on the other side of the door. Jensen caught you by the back of your shirt just in time.

It looks like a spiraling, descending corridor of stairs. You start to creep down the stairway, putting your finger to your lips gesturing to Jensen to remain quiet as you tread carefully.

Midway down the curve of the stairway, you see a faint light glowing. It is candlelight, many candles to be exact. On the floor at the base of the stairs is a heaping black mass of a body.

“Kylo!” You rush down the remaining stairs.

Jensen holds the blaster, while looking around the desolate room that looks practically like an empty dungeon.

The black mass is face down. You turn the body over; it is indeed, Kylo.

“No-no-no-no!” 

To your horror, there is a device around Kylo’s neck. You know it instantly, although you had no idea of it’s existence except from the vision that you once had. It is a force subduer.

“Kylo! Wake up! Kylo!” Your hand gently rubs at his face.

His eyelashes flutter, but he is too weak to respond.

“Help me get this damn thing off of him!” You decry in a state of panic.

“There is a seam at the side of the collar. It looks unbreakable.” Jensen imparts

“Jensen, it is killing him! Look at him.” You cry.

“We have to get this off of him! It is literally draining his life’s force. He’s had this on for days.” You sob at seeing Kylo in this state.

You try to pry the device apart with your hands.

Then, you move on instinct. You close your eyes and focus, the most focused that you had ever trained yourself to become.

The collar begins to vibrate. The device splits at the seam. You had used the force to pry the device off of Kylo’s neck.

You throw the shackle against the wall, further damaging it.

“Help me.” You tell Jensen as you try to lift Kylo up and off of the floor.

Your hands gently run through Kylo's wavy hair as if you are petting a wounded beast. Kylo remains unconscious.

You were never one for scenes or emotional outbursts, but this - you could not control. You begin to sob as you cradle Kylo in your arms. Your stroke his hair as if you are gently lulling him into sleep.

Jensen doesn’t know what to make of this display. He watches how you possessively hold and tend to Kylo as if he wasn’t present in the room. It was just you and Kylo and that was all you were concerned about.

A few of your tears fall onto the side of Kylo’s face. You tenderly swipe them away with your thumb. You hold Kylo, admiring his face. If only he didn’t have to be so stubborn; if only you weren’t so stubborn. This fear gripped you. The thought that Kylo’s life could slip away, while in your arms. 

You reach down and kiss him chastely, on his full lips. You didn’t know if this would be your one and only and possibly last time, to connect with him in this way.

Jensen watches momentarily, feeling pangs of jealously as you crumble over Kylo's listless body.

“We have to get him onto the shuttle.” You state.

Jensen bears most of the burden of carrying Kylo. It was a treacherous journey back to the shuttle. Your bodies felt like they could melt from the planet’s inferno.

You put the shuttle back into orbit and once you are on a straight path, you place the shuttle on auto pilot as you tend to Kylo.

You hold Kylo upright, and slowly pour some water into his mouth. A little too much and a little too fast, causes Kylo to awaken and mildly choke.

You lean him forward as he gasps for air. His eyes partially open up.

“Kylo.” You look at him in amazement as you see the warm brown of his eyes. You breathe a sigh of relief when you feel the force around him, starting to restrengthen.

Kylo is still in a very weakened state. You never could have imagined this man being this vulnerable, this helpless. You also didn’t want to imagine what would have happened if you were just an hour more late, in discovering him.

Kylo was so very close to death and you felt it, it’s why you were weakened. But somehow, you still managed to find him; you could still feel him. It took effort, but your bond prevailed.

You didn’t know what your next steps would be. Obviously, Snoke had set this up. Kylo was lured on false pretenses, betrayed by one of his own Knights.

There was something fiercely protective in you, in regards to Kylo. Your mind raged with various plots in how you were ultimately going to kill Snoke for his betrayal to Kylo. You weren’t sure if this was a reaction to having Kylo’s blood in you or if it was something deeper, like a protective love.

You now understood what your purpose was… why the force had chosen you, had gifted you this experience; it was to protect Kylo. This is how you would make him stronger. You would show him the deceit, the treachery, and to help him rise like a phoenix from the ashes and reclaim his power. You would make him stronger through your love and compassion.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your eyes soften as you look at Kylo. You watch as Kylo does something unexpected. He removes the glove from his hand and he places his bare hand against the side of your face, gently caressing you.

Coruscant is your next destination. Kylo is still frail and that is your main concern. Snoke could wait.

While on the shuttle, bound for Coruscant, you and Kylo share a moment with one another.

Jensen was emanating jealousy; Kylo absorbed it. Jensen watched from a distance as you and Kylo conversed through your force bond, so that he wouldn’t hear. It made him jealous, because Kylo could experience you in a way that he never could; that, and not knowing just exactly what the two of you were conversing about.

For you, sharing this bond with Kylo was more intimate than any physical contact that could incur. Anyone could touch, make love, etc. but very few had this rare gift - that they could speak to one another through a mental link. Kylo was truly within you.

“Why did you save me?” Kylo projects into your mind.

“Would you have preferred if I had left you there to die?”

“That’s not what I meant.” Kylo reaffirms.

“I heard you calling, through the force.”

“He has chosen you, you know that, right?” Kylo imparts.

“Yes, I am aware of his plans.” You lament.

“And you chose me, over him?”

“I don’t understand?” You shake your head.

“Supreme Leader offered you a great position of power, to dethrone me and you chose not to accept it?”

“You seem rather displeased with my choice. I’m no traitor, Kylo. I thought only of you!” You push in the force.

“Again, that’s not what I meant.”

“Then tell me, in clear terms.”

Kylo shakes his head, perhaps engaging in this telepathy wasn’t the wisest choice. Kylo is still weak and it is taking a toll on his body.

“No one, other than Snoke has chosen me, before. Not even my parents.”

Your eyes soften as you look at Kylo. You watch as Kylo does something unexpected. He removes the glove from his hand and he places his bare hand against the side of your face, gently caressing you.

You quickly close the link to your bond, severing Kylo from your further thoughts.

“You need to rest. We’ll be in Coruscant, in due time.” You say aloud. Jensen hears your words.

Jensen wondered if you would ever react in the same way, if he was in peril. Would you break into hysterics? Fight to save his life, like you did Kylo’s?

****  
The arrival on Coruscant went off, without a hitch. You managed to find Kylo some normal looking clothing, so that his usual standard robes would not give him away, even though he was unmasked and hardly anyone knew Kylo Ren’s true identity.

Kylo, clad in black pants, his boots, and a sleeveless muscle shirt, lagged behind you and Jensen as you made your way to a nearby hotel. The three of you needed to rest and you and Kylo, you two had to formulate a game plan as to how to deal with Snoke and his betrayal of Kylo.

“Jensen, we’ll get you a room.” You inform him.

More jealousy brewing. You chose to stay with Kylo, but that was a given, since he was injured. Jensen was not aware of how being in close proximity to Kylo, made your life easier. He probably would never understand it even if you explained it. It wasn’t something that could be told by words; it had to be experienced, had to be felt, just like you had to discover it for yourself.

Kylo’s force signature was growing in strength and this pleased you immensely.

You helped Kylo to the bed. He needed no coaxing as he collapsed onto the bed and entered into a deep sleep.

Something in you, instinctively took over. You lay behind Kylo, curled up against his body. With your right hand, you brush through his hair with your fingers as if you were soothing him, lulling him, even though he was already asleep. You felt a pain emanating from his aura.

With your hand, you move in a sweeping motion as if your hand is scanning the length of his body. You close your eyes and focus and target on this pain, these mixed emotions. You have no clue as to what you are really doing, but something is driving you, nonetheless.

You channel your force signature through him, clearing out these toxic emotions and feelings. It was as if you were washing away the bad, the negative, with the force.

Once you were completed and satisfied in how Kylo’s signature felt, you yourself, fell into a deep sleep.

****  
Upon awakening, Kylo decided to take a shower. You waited for him in the room, standing out on the balcony while observing the skyline as you ponder what your next move will be.

Kylo emerges; a towel wrapped around his waist. It made you breathless seeing him this exposed. His body is marred with scars, but he is still very beautiful. You quickly had to refocus your thoughts, lest he pick up on them.

To your shock, Kylo dresses in front of you, dropping the towel when you entered back into the room.

“Kylo!” You exclaim. Turning around as quickly as you had entered the room, seeing him naked. Kylo said nothing nor did he flinch.

“I’m dressed.” You hear him call out to you. You reemerge from hiding out on the balcony.

You try to quickly brush off what had just transpired.

“I know what to do about Snoke.” You quickly steer the conversation.

“He’s no fool, he will sense this a galaxy away.”

“I think you are wrong. He tried to mind probe me several times, but I resisted. He thought that he was being clever, subtle, but I knew what he was attempting and it perturbed him that he could not get inside my mind. We will just have to concoct a ruse.”

“And what do you propose?” Kylo questions.

“Snoke, by now, knows that I had went to be by your side. However, he would not be anticipating on me returning and choosing him.”

“Go on.” Kylo presses.

“I will have to convince him that you turned on me, out of jealousy, because Snoke wanted me. I will feign that I am angry and hurt and that I want to align myself with him, to grow more powerful to destroy you and then, when Snoke is in a vulnerable moment, I will kill him.”

“Do you realize how mentally fortified you have to become? If he senses even an ounce of falseness, he will end you on the spot.”

“You have that little faith in me?” You look at Kylo.

“I know him. I know what he is capable of. Snoke is extremely powerful, and he will not suffer a fool easily.”

I will have to channel my anger, the rage that I felt. Only, I will use it under the guise of having been betrayed by you.”

“Now, if we’re going to do this, then we have to make it look believable.” You add.

“What do you mean?” Kylo asks quizzical.

“Hit me.”

“What?!” Kylo’s eyes widen.

“Hit me. It has to look like we sparred, that you were so angry that you attacked me.”

“I won’t.” Kylo shakes his head, refusing.

“It has to look like we are enemies!”

“No, I will not hit you!” Kylo stands firm.

“Kylo Ren, you will do this! Now come on, hit me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little filler chapter. The epic (hopefully I can make it epic) climax, will come next chapter. Get ready for some feels.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You really didn’t think that I was so foolish to believe that you would betray Kylo Ren? Your own blood?” Snoke chuckles.

Kylo wouldn’t hit you as requested, so you had to do the next best thing. You found a bar, where you ended up getting into a tussle with two female twi’leks after hitting on one of female twi’lek, since they were displaying amorous affection for one another. Jealousy is a great motivator for a fight, you thought. Better to be hit by a female than a male. You managed to sustain a black eye and a busted lip. You did what you had to do .

It would've helped if you had informed Jensen of your actions, but Kylo thought it best - the less Jensen knew, the better off it would be; if Snoke should happen to try and seize him for a mind probe.

When you opened the hotel door to see Jensen standing there and the livid expression upon his face, you just knew who Jensen thought was responsible and to blame. Jensen barged in, seeking Kylo, threatening him. Kylo halted Jensen in his tracks by using the force; paralyzing him from any further movement. You stood before the subdued form of Jensen and explained that Kylo did not inflict your bruises; you had asked, but he declined. 

Kylo and Jensen were going to secure another ship. You would be returning to base, on your own. Neither you nor Jensen, knew if Snoke or anyone at First Order was aware that Jensen had departed with you, on your mission to retrieve Kylo.

You explained to Jensen that it was for the best, that he did not know what was about to transpire. Even Kylo had not shared the full details of his plan, with you.

When you and Kylo were alone, saying your departing goodbyes, it became more than real; this feeling that you may never see one another again. You were sure the feeling was more acutely felt on your side.

Jensen was out on the balcony, while you and Kylo talked amongst yourselves via your force bond.

“I will come to you, when the time is right.” Kylo relays to you.

“What are you going to do? How will you know?” You ask Kylo.

“First, I am going to find the knight that betrayed me. Just try not to get yourself killed.” Kylo adds.

“I will strike him down, if the opportunity arises.”

“Remember to be cautious, he will sense something is amiss. He’s no fool.” Kylo imparts.

“After my display, I will make him into a believer that you are my worst enemy.” You grin at Kylo.

“So willful.” He replies.

“Kylo…”

“Yes?”

You look him directly in his soulful brown eyes as you continue your telepathic conversation.

“whatever needs to be done when the time comes, do not hesitate. Do you understand? No matter how great the sacrifice.” You words like an ominous foreshadowing as you search his eyes.

Kylo leans into you and presses his forehead against yours. The two of you stand there; it was only a few seconds, but it seemed endless as you listened to the one heartbeat, beating between the two of you.

Jensen gave you his emotional goodbye.

You left the hotel, departing for base. You trusted in Kylo to be there, when the time came.

Back in the hotel room, Jensen confronts Kylo.

“You’re just going to let her return to him, and knowingly risk her life?”

Kylo looks at Jensen with contempt.

“Well, do you not care that she may die because of you?”

“Yes, I am very much aware.” Kylo hissed. Kylo didn’t want to face the fact anymore than Jensen did, but Jensen couldn’t tolerate it any longer.

“For some reason, she has a deep loyalty to you. I’m not sure if it is just because of this force bonding experience with receiving your blood or whatever… do you even acknowledge what she has done? Do you even love her, like I do? I know she will never return my affections.” Jensen let his feelings for you slip, and finally be declared.

Kylo looks at Jensen with an intense stare, his full lips subtly tremble before he erupts.

“I will not let her die. My life will come before hers!” Kylo barked as he stormed out of the hotel room. Jensen relented.

You and Kylo, both felt the separation anxiety setting in, already. 

****  
When you arrived back at Starkiller Base, the first person you meet is General Hux.

“I am requesting an audience with Supreme Leader.” You inform him.

“And just what happened to you?” Hux sneers at your bruised face.

“Kylo Ren.”

****  
Entering into the chamber was daunting, but you had rehearsed this on your flight back to the base.

“Where is Kylo Ren?” Snoke inquires about his former apprentice.

“Dead, I hope.” Spoken with apathy.

“Kylo did this to you?” Snoke, not quite convinced.

“Yes. He turned against me when he figured out what had happened. At first, I pledged my loyalty to him, but he became jealous; a fit of rage over your preference for me being the stronger one. I tried to save him and he did this to me. From this moment, I swear only loyalty to you, Supreme Leader.” You bow your head as you state your declaration.

Snoke glares at you as if reading you, waiting for any falter in your character, your body. His gaze considers you as he tilts his head, closely observing.

“I want what you have to offer, if you still want me.” You lay yourself down for the taking.

Snoke grins with his decrepit features.

“You’re no longer loyal to Kylo Ren?”

Without missing a beat, you reply.

“No. I want you to train me, so that I may be the one to destroy Kylo Ren.” You look up at Snoke, darkness growing in your eyes. Your force signature emanating discontent.

Snoke grins even wider.

“You will make a fine apprentice. I can do so much with you.” His lecherous tone, secretly sends a chill through your body.

****

Nearly a month had passed, since you vowed your revenge upon Kylo, before Snoke. Snoke summoned you, every day. And every day, you had to envision how you would end Kylo’s life. It had to be done, there was no other choice. Snoke had to believe that your hatred for Ren was authentic.

When not in the vicinity of Snoke nor his minions, you retreated into the snowy woods to engage in your force bond with Kylo, to keep him updated on the happenings at the base. This had to be a stealthy concerted effort.

Then one day, Snoke summons you with an invitation to come aboard his personal command ship to meet with him in person, and to finalize your training and devotion to him and the first order.

It was a highly secretive undertaking. You were blindfolded and led by a member of the Knights of Ren. Ideally, you thought this was the knight that had betrayed Kylo. This was the only thought that you let yourself have on the matter. You wanted to personally lash out at the knight, but it would be futile and everything you had worked so hard for and to conceal up to this point, would be ruined in an instant.The knights are force sensitive as well and would sense your betrayal.

Once aboard, and standing at the main entrance to Snoke’s chamber, only then was the blindfold removed. You were stunned to see the formidable praetorian guards in red while standing at attention, cautiously guarding the entrance to Snoke’s chamber.

The knight that accompanied you, gave you a bad vibe. Yet, there seemed something familiar about him, although you had never met. Maybe it was because… if this was the knight that betrayed Kylo, you were picking up on this via the force.

You shrugged it off and entered the chamber, when told to do so.

The room was bathed in a crimson red color, like the guards that staunchly stand at the outer entrance of the chamber. You had no idea what was in store or if you would even survive past this day.

On a dais sat a throne, where you found the decrepit overlord, supreme leader Snoke. 

“Supreme Leader.” You address him as you kneel before him.

The Knight of Ren that had accompanied you, leaves your side and moves to the far distant corner of the chamber.

Snoke arises from his throne and you are a little amused to find that he is not as formidable as he appeared in his hologram. Nevertheless, what he lacked in size, he made up for in his power and abilities with the force.

Snoke began to speak. His tone turned ominous as his speech went on.

“Before you came along, Kylo was my chosen one. He was going to make a great host. Strong in body, strong in the force, but he could never quell his emotional pull to the light. That was the only thing that kept me from fully completing the process.

‘Process?’ You think to yourself.

Snoke reads your thoughts.

“Yes. You see, as decrepit...” (Snoke uses the word that you always deem him; he knows your true thoughts about him)… “as my body is, I am old and frail and I need a new body to inhabit.”

Your eyes widen in horror. What you once postulated, has now become your reality.

“I admit, I have my reservations about inhabiting a female body; yours proves to be exceptionally well and suited for my needs. Kylo is weak and I need the strongest in body and spirit.

Deep down, you knew it was futile, but nonetheless you tried to flee from the chamber only to be stopped by the Knight of Ren. Before he could subdue you, Snoke had paralyzed you with a force hold.

“You really didn’t think that I was so foolish to believe that you would betray Kylo Ren? Your own blood?” Snoke chuckles.

“What makes you exceptional is the fact that the force chose you to protect him. This has never been known to occur in recorded history. You’re at the prime of your power and I intend to seize on this fact.”

“Once the transfer is complete, you will cease to exist.” Snoke imparts.

“Transfer?” You state aloud.

“Yes. I am going to inhabit your body, henceforth. There’s no more time to delay.” The sinister smile paints his face.

You cry out through the force for Kylo, but it is useless.

Snoke erupts into laughter. “He couldn’t even save himself, what makes you think that he could save you?” His condescending tone.

Your body starts to heat up, there is a vibrating sensation. There is a crackling noise as you see streaks of lightning - force lightning, encompassing your body. The lightning does not touch you, it acts as a force field. Snoke is chanting something in an ancient language that you do not understand, perhaps it is sith.

The more he recites his incantations, the more it feels like you are being pushed out of your body, like something akin to astral travel. Your levitating amidst the lightning that dances around you. You struggle; a few cries as it is hard to breathe and your eyes are burning, so they remain closed. Snoke’s incantations grow louder with more force in his spoken words. You try to fight back, resisting with what strength you had left. You wouldn’t let go this easily. Your last thoughts before you were evicted from your body are of Kylo.

There is one final loud gasp as a brilliant flash of light surges into your body, into your core being.

At this moment a red crackling blade erupts through your midsection on the right side. The Knight of Ren is wielding Kylo’s saber, stands behind you, now catching you and lowering you to the ground.

Another eruption of bright light flashes and Snoke’s ephemeral spirit is liberated from your body and is now crumpled to the ground, whimpering in exquisite agony along with your body as Snoke lay dying from his frailty.

Your consciousness restored to you as you look up and see the unmasked knight of Ren to be Kylo.

Your hand clutches at the wound, your eyes wide as your hand reaches up to touch Kylo’s face one final time.

“So this is what death feels like? You always did look like the grim reaper.” You whisper aloud in a final jest. Kylo’s eyes are welling up with tears and he knows that if he blinks the first of the flood will fall.

His lips quiver, tremble violently as he talks to you via the force bond.

“We’re not done yet.” Words meant to encourage you to hold on.

“I think we are.” Your last words as you succumb and your eyes seemingly forever close.

Kylo gently retrieves your listless body from the throne room’s floor and carries you into a new beyond.

****  
“Where’s Kylo? I can’t feel him!” You panic aloud. You had been under sedation for three days straight, having just now roused from your sleeping state. Your first conscious concern was for Kylo.

“Lay still. You are healing from a light saber wound. Kylo is alright. He has been crowned the new ruler and there is talk that he may become the next emperor.” Jensen informs you.

“What?” Your wide-eyed baffled expression.

“Yes, Snoke is dead and Kylo has seized power.” Jensen informs.

“Why can’t I feel him? I don’t feel anything, I don’t feel my force abilities!”

Jensen lowered his gaze, he didn’t know what to say to you, how he could help in your distress.

“Did you give me someone else’s blood?!” You demand vehemently.

“No, only Kylo is a match and you were given his blood as before.”

“Then why am I no longer force sensitive?”

“I...I truly don’t know.” Jensen laments.

You start to sob. Jensen is worried that you will damage the healing that you have already accomplished. He decides that it is time to sedate you.

“Kylo, he hasn’t even been here to see me?” You ask with tears in your eyes.

“Kylo has been here, yes. Right now, he is just busy… now that he is the supreme ruler.”

“He’ll want nothing more to do with me, if I don’t have the force.” You lament, frantically. Your tears fall harder. Jensen slips the sedative into your IV.

Almost instantly, you succumb; you close your eyes and slip into a deep, restful sleep. Jensen strokes your hair in a comforting gesture. It pains him to see you this way and to see you become so distraught over Kylo.

During your recovery, you never see Kylo while you’re awake. Jensen tells you that he visits, but you think he is only saying that to spare your feelings and pity you.

You’re so angry about your loss of the force and about Kylo. You thought it had meant something, that you risked your life for him, to protect him. Now, he is the most powerful man in the galaxy and you have not laid eyes upon him.

Jensen didn’t want to do it, but he kept you sedated quite often. Jensen did it so you could make a successful recovery. It is a miracle that you survived the impalement of a light saber. There was some damage to your liver; that was the most cause for concern. Everything else was reconstructed that was damaged. You had a long road to recovery.

 

The first 48 hours were so crucial and Jensen staid by your side, he even assisted in the operating room. Your life was hanging in the balance and he prayed even though he was no man of god. Jensen was angry that you would sacrifice yourself for Kylo and he felt Kylo did not deserve someone like you.

When you made it through the first 48 hours, Jensen could then breathe again.

Kylo had visited you. You weren’t the only one in pain. He felt the loss of your force. He felt the guilt and the pain for your sacrifice. The only person in the galaxy that had ever put him first, the only other living soul that knew what it truly felt like to be Kylo Ren. Now, you lay battered and broken in a hospital bed, clinging to save your own life this time.

Kylo felt it would only do more harm than good, if he were to appear when you were awake. Therefor, he chose to visit you while you were sedated. Perhaps it was cowardly, but in his own way, Kylo thought he was doing the best thing in the moment.

The most devastating moment came when you were finally released and allowed to return to your former living activities. You had to be careful in how you walked, but you were able to take yourself back to your quarters. It would be great to finally sleep in a real, comfortable bed, besides a hospital bed.

The long journey to your room was the hardest to endure, not because of your wounds, but because reality finally sank in.

Once, it used to be daunting to block out the thousands of thoughts that bombarded you as you roamed the halls of the base, now, dead silence permeated. First Order officers, storm troopers, all glided right past you; you focused intently, wanting to hear some form of thought being projected. One by one they passed you by, in silence.

Your lips began to tremble, your eyes watered. You wanted to run the remainder of the way, but it was futile. Instead, you made haste as best as you could.

Everything that you had grown accustomed to with force abilities, has now been stripped away. When you made it inside your quarters and the door closed, you sank against the wall while crumbling to the floor as you sob. First, it was silently and then the wails of your anguish permeate the steel walls. 

 

Even if every bone in your entire body had been shattered, it would still not feel as painful as it felt to be severed from Kylo and the force.

Not having force abilities was agonizing enough, but the severance of the link to Kylo, the knowing thought that you will never be able to connect with him, it felt akin to him having died that day.

You could no longer hear that heartbeat that drummed in tune with your own.

You cried yourself to sleep on the cold, steel floor.

You thought you were dreaming when you heard the door open and a figure in black approached. The figure lifted you off of the floor in a careful manner as if you were weightless. Your eyes were so swollen and blurry, you had to blink hard to focus.

Kylo gently laid you down onto the bed.

When you realized it was him, you recoiled from his presence. You couldn’t bear to face him. You felt like a complete failure in his eyes.

Gone were the gloved hands, his bare fingers gently caressed at your face and your hair.

“Why didn’t you let me die?!” Your anger starting to seep.

“What has happened to me?” You ask, weeping, staring into his emotional eyes.

“You’ve completed your journey. The force was with you long enough to make your mission a success.”

“Kylo, I can’t feel you! I can’t hear you, there’s nothing but deafening silence!” You clutch at his robes desperately.

“I can still feel you.” Kylo reassures.

“I felt your distress, that is why I am here.” He adds.

“I don’t need or want your pity.” You turn away from Kylo, sneering, biting out your words.

“Just go. Please. Just leave me alone.” You state.

Kylo moves closer and tries an attempt at cajoling you.

“We both know that without those force abilities, that I am useless to you.” The vulnerability in your voice, now evident.

“You really think that low of me?” Kylo’s tone, heating up.

“You think that is all that matters to me? If you are force sensitive?”

Kylo seizes you and kisses you passionately. His gesture stuns you and his actions does leave you breathless when he pulls away.

Kylo presses his forehead against yours. His eyes are closed.

“I had known about you for a long time. I saw you, in a force vision. Then, one day while walking the halls I heard this familiar sound; a drumming, a beating sound. I followed it until it led me to you.”

Kylo’s eyes are now open and his eyes meets yours.

“I couldn’t say anything nor get too close, lest Snoke discovered you.”

“That is why you were present near my office, so much? I remember the other officers were afraid of your presence and wondered why you were on our level.”

“The closer I got to you, the better I felt. Hearing the sound of your heartbeat and the realization that it was both of ours, beating together as if it were one heart beat.” Kylo imparts.

“You were destined to be mine, all along. I had to keep my distance in order to ensure your safety.”

Your hand covers your mouth as you tried to hold back the sounds of your tempestuous sobs. You didn’t want to fall apart in front of Kylo Ren. You didn’t want to come undone, but this was your emotional meltdown and Kylo gave you confirmation of just what you mean to him and you would make it glorious.

Kylo pulls you into his arms and holds you.

“The force had other plans; it wanted to ensure my safety, so it chose you, to protect me from when I was weak and foolish and you did make me stronger. I am now the emperor. Without you, Snoke would have killed me and taken my body to use as his own vessel. Your loyalty is the reason that I am alive.”

“Why didn’t I sense you, when you were dressed as the other knight?”

“I cloaked my force signature. If you knew it was me there would have been an entirely different outcome in that throne room.” Kylo imparts.

“I was torn apart when I shoved that blade through your body.” Kylo laments, the pain in his voice very evident.

You see the pure remorse in Kylo’s eyes.

“I forgive you. I had told you that no matter what, you had to do what needed to be done. If it meant taking my life in order to end his, then it was worth it.”

“I knew that Snoke would be his most vulnerable, right as he completed the transfer. If I struck then, he would jump back into his body as he did, but he would have been wounded the same as you and his frailty was ultimately his undoing.” Kylo states.

It was harder to block your thoughts from Kylo. If anything, they seemed to be felt more acutely for him. You were resentful that you no longer had this ability.

“I still feel you, I can hear you. Your time with the force may be over, but we’re not done.” Kylo tells you as he reaches to seal a kiss with you.

The kiss grows more wanton. You longed to know what his yearning would feel like through your force bond. When Kylo was content, his force signature purred.

Kylo proceeded to remove your shirt. You felt self conscious when your wound was exposed, the hideous scar it had left.

Kylo laid you back onto the bed and ever so gently kissed around your scar as if apologizing for having inflicted it upon your body.

He trailed from your side over to your stomach and up to your chest coming to nestle and nuzzle his nose against the side of your neck.

This was a Kylo that you had yet to get acquainted with.

You watched with eyes alight as he moved against your skin, taking his time at a leisurely pace.

“I’ll stop if you want me too.” He whispers as his nose nuzzles against your ear. Your feel his hair tickle the side of your neck as it falls around the side of his face.

“No, don’t stop.” Your words ask for promise.

Perhaps it was better that your force bond was severed, it could be too intense, Kylo opening up this way. The look in his smoldering eyes filled you with so much emotion that it was growing to unbearable heights.

Kylo straightens up and you watch him remove his robes. He makes himself bare before your eyes. This is Kylo in the rough. Body riddled with scars from various battles and not just physical scars, the emotional scars are present as well.

Kylo returns to your side. His kiss is passionate, you feel that he wants more than what he is asking for at least, not with words.

His lips pull against your neck. You delight in the little separation noises that it makes when Kylo pulls away from his wet kisses.

Kylo positions himself, propped up on his elbows, one on either side of your head. With both hands he gently cradles your face, fingers moving up into your hair as he strokes upward through your silken strands.

You watch as his eyes admire your features as if they are cataloging every contour. You make a mental note of how desirable his lips are, how naturally swollen to perfection and how soft to the touch and sweet to the taste.

“Make love to me.” Kylo asks of you, in a love-starved desperate whisper.

His eyes penetrate yours deeply, you would almost swear that he could swim in the depths of your soul in this moment.

He takes you with his mouth; a hungry, ravenous kiss that promises to devour you slowly with slow, passionate intent.

Kylo’s hand traces the curvature of your body, his hand slipped past your waist on down to your hip where he motions to slip off your pants. One brisk tug and your body is relieved from the garment. All that remains are your panties.

Kylo’s fingers subtly pull at the waistband of the lace panties. He tugs a little at a time and kisses the line where the fabric has lain. Inch by inch, he works your body out of them.

Kylo raises up to remove himself from the confines of his pants. The bulge looks achingly unbearable for him, you notice.

He releases himself and his impressive manhood juts proudly. 

There is noticeable concern in your eyes and in your thoughts. You had never been with a man of this size, and you hoped that he would claim you slowly.

“I will.” He assures you, sealing it with a kiss as he steals your thoughts.

Kylo returns to kissing you passionately; more like a distraction as he hikes up your right leg with his large hand holding onto your thigh, guiding you to encircle his waist as he positions himself between your thighs.

His right hand cups your cheek as he continues administering his assault with his deadly weapon - his mouth. His kisses are languid and full of purpose.

He reaches down in between the two of you; it is a tight fit, his large fingers barely have any room, but somehow he manages. His fingers gently open you up, parting your folds as he slips his fingers over your clit, causing you to shudder under his body. Your head presses back into the pillow as a tiny, faint moan escapes on your breath.

Kylo watches your reaction. He starts rubbing you at a quickened pace. Ever so often his finger dives into your pooling wetness and he drags your slick in a trail to bathe your clit in your arousal.

When you moan, Kylo tastes your lips; taking your breath into him.

The moment arises when Kylo crowns at your entrance. The broad head of his cock pushes into you. He withdrawals and starts again. Inch by inch he is able to penetrate you in this slow, deliberate motion.

When Kylo is fully sheathed within you, he stills himself as you take calculated breaths. The feeling of him within is sensational. He’s so full and perfect and pleasing, and yes, he’s painful, but in the end the fulfillment and synergy between your connecting bodies that you feel, makes everything else a minor bagatelle. 

Kylo pulls out only to re-enter, completing his first full thrust within you. The force of his movement stuns you. Your fingers dig into his broad shoulders.

You couldn’t peel your eyes away from watching this graceful beauty in motion. His eyes closed shadowed by his dark lashes, his plump lips slightly apart, lost in a wave of pleasure trying to hang on and not let himself come to ruin so easily as he pants in laborious measures.

The sounds of his exhaled breaths and subtle groans as he found his perfect rhythm, rocking into your body. Once you had accepted him with ease, your legs tightly wrap around his waist, there was no way you were letting him slip from your body. The heels of your feet press deeply into his lower back, encouraging him to plunge into your depths to his hilt. 

Kylo’s hands gripped the entangled bed sheets as he held himself above you, slightly hovering over your body so you would not bear the burden of his large frame even though most of his body crashed against yours like a tidal wave coming to shore.

You saw the muscles in his arms tense and become more defined in his actions.

The point of no return was rising and Kylo grunted and panted as the both of you lost control simultaneously.

Kylo rocked against you as he panted hard, his breath coming in wave after wave as he ejaculated into you; drowning you within, with his life force.

A thin sheen of sweat formed between the friction of your connecting bodies.

Kylo momentarily collapses onto you, with you feeling his breath rapidly coming against your skin in warm wafting streams.

Kylo re-positions himself so that he is laying by your side. His hand on your waist and his mouth against your neck.

Somehow it felt strange, Kylo being removed from your body. It felt similar to the way it was, when you had your force bond and to be near one another meant everything and when you were separated, the anxiety of your loss took hold.

Being with Kylo was being in Harmony. Two halves of a whole. The yin and yang. 

You lay in Kylo’s arms with your eyes closed. A familiar sound returns. A tear escapes your eye when you realize and this tear, it slides down onto Kylo’s skin. Your head is pressed gently against his bare chest and you hear the lost heartbeat. It is still in sync with yours.

‘Now what becomes of my destiny?’ You ponder to yourself, silently… thinking that Kylo has slipped into a deep slumber.

Kylo turns on his side and pulls you tighter in his arms. His eyes remain closed. He whispers in your ear and you feel his lips brush against your skin as he speaks to you.

“You will become my empress.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you readers enough, for coming back for more of my fics :-) Kudos and comments are very much appreciated :-)
> 
> Please browse my other fics, if you haven't already :o)


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